Top Ten Signs That You're A Middle-Aged Martial Artist

by Kevin Quinley
(resident geezer in his TaeKwonDo Dojang in Fairfax,Va.)

  1. You savor the flavor of Nuprin.
  2. You Kia and your dentures hit the person in front of you in class.
  3. Your training partner begins each move with the statement, "I really don't want to hurt you..."
  4. You mail-order the prune scented Dit Dat Jow.
  5. You ask Sensei about the use of a walker in Kuboda training.
  6. Like a toothache, it feels so good when you stop!
  7. You discover that sweat really is the fountain of youth.
  8. You tire of swapping lies about golf and instead enjoy discussing your favorite kata
  9. You rent a forklift to help you out of your easy chair.
  10. Your family nickname is "Rice Crispy," because when you get out of bed in the morning, there's a deafening sound of snap, crackle and pop!

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