Top Reasons for Studying the Martial Arts

  1. Broken masonry makes great drainage for potted plants.
  2. Get beaten up by people half your size and twice your age.
  3. Never run out of kindling wood again.
  4. No need to wonder what belt to wear.
  5. Get to be on first name basis with the Emergency Room staff.
  6. The uniforms make nice pajamas.
  7. Never need to wonder why it's hard to get up in the morning.
  8. Get to appreciate the finer points of Chuck Norris' acting.
  9. Learn to count to 10 in 3 different Asian languages.
  10. Get to star in Ginsu commercials.
  11. Three words: free nose job.


[ INDEX ] Back to Phil's homepage.